陶聪 2025-10-30 07:43:03
每经编辑|陆伟
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Theterm"temporarywives,"or"duliang"(livingtogethertemporarily),oftenconjuresupimagesofmigrantworkersinChinaformingshort-termunionstofulfillbasicneeds.Whilesexualgratificationisundoubtedlyacomponent,reducingthesecomplexrelationshipstomerebiologicalurgesisagrossoversimplificationthatignorestheprofoundsocialandeconomiccircumstancesthatshapethelivesofmillions.Thesearrangementsareoftenbornoutofnecessity,apragmaticresponsetothechallengesoflivingandworkingfarfromhome,wheretraditionalfamilystructuresaredisruptedandemotionalsupportisscarce.
ThesheerscaleofinternalmigrationinChinahascreatedavastdemographicofindividuals,predominantlymen,whoareseparatedfromtheirspousesandfamiliesforextendedperiods.Economicopportunities,thoughoftenmeager,havedrawnthemtourbancenters,leavingbehindtheirruralrootsandthesocialsafetynetsthatcomewiththem.Thisprolongedseparationcanleadtointensefeelingsofloneliness,isolation,andalongingforcompanionship.Inthiscontext,forminga"temporarywife"relationshipcanofferasemblanceofnormalcyandemotionalconnection,abufferagainsttheharshrealitiesoftheirtransientlives.
Beyondemotionalsolace,practicalconsiderationsalsoplayasignificantrole.Migrantworkersoftenliveincrowded,sharedaccommodations,lackingprivacyandthecomfortsofastablehome.A"temporarywife"canprovideamoreintimateandsupportivelivingenvironment,sharingtheburdensofdailylife,fromcookingandcleaningtosimplyhavingsomeonetotalktoafteragruelingdayoflabor.Thisarrangementcanalsoofferasenseofstabilityandbelonginginanotherwiseunpredictableexistence.Theeconomicdisparitiesbetweenruralandurbanareasmeanthatmanymigrantworkerssendthemajorityoftheirearningsbacktotheirfamilies,leavingthemwithverylittledisposableincomeforpersonalexpenses,includingleisureandsocialactivities.
Furthermore,thesocialstigmaassociatedwithbeingsingleorlivingaloneinChinesesociety,evenformigrantworkers,cancontributetotheformationoftheseunions.Thesocietalexpectationofcompanionshipandthedesiretoavoidjudgmentcanpushindividualstowardsformingthesepartnerships,regardlessofthelong-termimplications.It’sawaytomaintainasemblanceofsocialacceptanceandavoidthelabelofbeinganoutsider.Theeconomicpressuresfacedbytheseworkersareimmense.Theyareoftenemployedinlow-wage,physicallydemandingjobswithlittlejobsecurity.Theconstantstruggletomakeendsmeetleavesthemwithlittleenergyorresourcesforconventionaldatingorrelationshipbuilding.The"temporarywife"arrangement,whileunconventional,offersamoreimmediateandaccessiblesolutiontotheirmultifacetedneeds.
ThelegalandsocialframeworksurroundingmarriageinChinaalsopresentschallenges.Formanymigrantworkers,thebureaucratichurdlesandcostsassociatedwithformalmarriageareprohibitive,especiallywhentheirtimeinthecitymaybetemporary.Theconceptof"cohabitation"withoutformalregistrationisapragmaticworkaround,allowingthemtoformbondsandshareresourceswithoutthelegalentanglements.Thisalsoreflectsabroadersocietalshiftwheretraditionalnormsarebeingchallengedbytherealitiesofmodernlifeandeconomicpressures.Thenarrativessurroundingthese"temporarywives"arerarelysimple.Theyarewovenfromthreadsofeconomichardship,socialdislocation,theuniversalhumanneedforconnection,andthepragmaticpursuitofwell-beinginthefaceofadversity.TodismisstheserelationshipsassolelydrivenbysexualdesireistooverlooktheprofoundhumandramaunfoldingintheshadowsofChina'srapiddevelopment.
Whilesexualneedsareundoubtedlyapartofanyintimaterelationship,includingthoseof"temporarywives"amongmigrantworkers,theirsignificanceisoftenamplifiedandmisrepresentedwhenviewedinisolation.Therealityisfarmorenuanced,encompassingacomplexinterplayofemotional,social,andpracticalfactorsthatextendwellbeyondmerephysicalgratification.Forindividualsuprootedfromtheirhomesandsocialnetworks,theprofoundsenseoflonelinessandisolationthataccompaniesmigrantlifecanbeoverwhelming.Theabsenceoffamiliarfaces,thebreakdownoftraditionalcommunitysupportsystems,andthesheeranonymityofurbanexistencecreateavacuumthattheserelationshipshelptofill.
Inthiscontext,a"temporarywife"canserveasacrucialsourceofemotionalsupport,companionship,andintimacy.Sheoffersalisteningearafteralongday,asharedmeal,acomfortingpresenceinastrangeandoftenhostileenvironment.Thisemotionalscaffoldingisnotaluxurybutanecessityformaintainingmentalandemotionalwell-beinginthefaceofrelentlesslaboranduncertainty.Thephysicalintimacythatarisesfromthesebonds,whileimportant,oftenbecomesanaturalextensionofthisdeeperneedforconnectionandmutualcomfort.Itisawaytoalleviatethephysicalandemotionalstrainofseparationfromlong-termpartnersandfamilies.
Theeconomicrealitiesofmigrantworkerlifefurtherunderscorethepracticaldimensionsofthesearrangements.Manymigrantworkers,particularlymen,aretheprimarybreadwinnersfortheirfamiliesbackhome.Thisoftenmeanssendingthevastmajorityoftheirearningstosupporttheirchildren'seducation,theirparents'care,andthegeneralupkeepoftheirruralhouseholds.Consequently,theyhavelimitedfinancialresourcesforentertainment,socialactivities,orevenbasicpersonalcare.A"temporarywife"canbecomeapartnerinmanagingsharedlivingexpenses,poolingresourcesforfood,accommodation,andothernecessities.Thiseconomicsynergycansignificantlyimprovetheirqualityoflifeandreducetheburdenofsurvival.
Moreover,thesocialstigmaassociatedwithbeingsingleorlivingalone,especiallyformenofacertainage,canbeapowerfulmotivator.Inmanyruralcommunities,marriageandfamilyaredeeplyingrainedsocietalexpectations.Thepressuretoconform,coupledwiththeextendedperiodsofseparationfromspouses,canleadindividualstoseekcompanionshipandasemblanceofaconventionallife,evenifitisinatemporaryorunconventionalform.Thisisnotaboutdefyingtraditionbutaboutadaptingtoitspressureswithintheconstraintsoftheircurrentcircumstances.
Thetransientnatureofmigrantworkalsoplaysarole.Manymigrantworkersdonotintendtosettlepermanentlyinthecities.Theirstayisoftendictatedbyemploymentopportunitiesandeconomicnecessity.Formalmarriage,withitslegalandsocialimplications,mayseemlikeanunnecessarycomplicationoranimpracticalcommitmentforsuchatransientexistence.Cohabitation,ontheotherhand,offersaflexiblearrangementthatcanbedissolvedmoreeasilywhencircumstanceschange,suchaswhenonepartnerreturnstotheirhometownorfindsnewemploymentelsewhere.Thispragmaticapproachtorelationshipsreflectsthebroader"makedo"attitudethatmanymigrantworkersadopttonavigatetheirchallenginglives.
Ultimately,thephenomenonof"temporarywives"amongmigrantworkersisacomplexsocialconstruct,bornoutofaconfluenceofeconomichardship,socialdislocation,emotionalneeds,andpragmaticadaptationstotherealitiesofmodernChina.Tolabelitsolelyasamanifestationofsexualdesireistostripawaythehumanelement,toignoretheresilience,resourcefulness,anddeep-seatedneedforconnectionthatdrivetheseindividuals.Itisatestamenttothehumancapacitytofindsolace,support,andasemblanceofbelongingeveninthemostchallengingandtransientofcircumstances.Theserelationships,howeverunconventional,arenotjustaboutphysicalneedsbutaboutthefundamentalhumandesiretonotbealone.
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